Oh, the dark is pervasive… Up here in the north, we begin to turn on lights by 4 PM this time of year; we need them well into the midmorning as well. The rain does not help the “light issue” much at all. In the last twenty four hours I plugged in a second nightlight, bought another long-burning candle, and paid my exorbitant electric bill for the month. I find the darkness adds to my fatigued feeling, an unshakable desire for longer nights of sleep and extra cups of half-caffeinated coffee. Much of the time I feel chilly and want to don extra layers. Also, I am not a fancier of the “holiday season” and feel grumpy with the hustle and bustle of consumerism, plans and agendas, obligations. It has been years since I celebrated Christmas in any way that felt genuine or holy. I have no traditions or rituals around New Year’s, Kwanzaa, Hanukkah or Boxing Day.
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| Moonset - 12 Dec 8:03 AM |
And yet, I am smitten with the winter solstice! (Maybe it is because my rebellious nature draws me to the underdog; I rally for the holy day which gets the least attention.) I turn deeply inward to reflect on the year just coming to a close. It is with excitement I turn to face the upcoming one. While I understand with my intellect that the longest night of the year also means the turning point toward the return of the light, my heart summons me to my own core of darkness. I am not one of those many people who suffer from seasonal affective disorder or winter depression, and I am grateful. But it seems important to take time to reflect, to ponder, to partner with the night (at least on this one sacred evening of seeming-perpetual darkness) in order to become a bringer of the light. If I just sit alone, or in quietude with others, I know I can find the gems that shine within my belly (something my yoga instructor says with flourish and eloquence) and bring them forth into the world. Each of us can do this!
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| Sunrise - 13 Dec 7:15 AM |
To just sit knitting, warping and weaving on my loom, becoming mesmerized by the flames on the burning candles around me, making collage, meditating or writing, walking on the darkened beach at low tide…ah!; these, for me, are the bliss and gifts of wintertime! No matter how chilled I get in the wind, rain and near-freezing temperatures on hikes and walks, nature restores me on the inside, and I know I can cozy up, hibernate a while in my home, find the warm center that is at the core of wintertime darkness. The longest night of the year offers me a chance to pause, to find calm in the center of the busy-ness around me, to honor the darkness, even as I celebrate the (eventual) coming of the light. As I get to know and inhabit the darkness, I also come to know and cherish the light; we need both to be whole. I relish the longest night of the year!
Winter Solstice 2011 is on 22 December…May you find and inhabit your peaceful inner place, shine your light in the outer places, and remember that we all need one another’s gifts of spirit!
All blog photographs taken by Jennifer J. Wilhoit unless otherwise noted.
