It has been striking these past few weeks: the way in which my inner landscape and the one outside are unfolding in like manner. Blooming; bursting forth in song; opening and unfurling and stretching in the glorious light of brand new springtime; flaunting with shamelessness the beauty within; shining forth; living out of that deepest place of compassion; finding rest in the possibilities of promise and hope…The unseen key that unlocks the mystery within has touched every tree and plant bud, and my own tender heart.
Driving home yesterday – smack in the center of a most
glorious Pacific Northwest early spring day replete with sunshine, crisp air,
sakura (cherry) blossoms in delicate pinks and whites, and that unbelievable
color of supple spring green dotting the early leafing trees everywhere along
the road – I was daydreaming. (This is not a practice I recommend while
driving.) But instantly I was brought back to the present moment, my nose
filling with a scent pungent, sweet, and earthy (what is the word for the smell of ripe, moist soil?). The natural
perfume permeated my being with intense and immediate pleasure. An abiding
sense of well-being arose and gave birth to my experience of that moment.
I could not figure out the other day (a mental activity
applied to an emotional quality of living – not so useful, actually) whether
or not it was the natural world’s springtime season activating my own inner
buds to peel themselves back revealing the blessed and brilliant beauty of a
flower within that I had not even known existed. (I had not remembered the
planting of those seeds in my being; nor had I felt the growing bud, from which
I now begin to bloom.) Nor could I discern whether it was the inner blossoms
reminding me to look outward to the daffodils in the yard. I decided that
instead of figuring out, or answering, I would rather live into the questions.
I certainly know that Nature mirrors my own internal life; this week I am really feeling it. And it is the raw,
unfettered expression of this truth
that calls to and compels me.
I have been given gifts unimaginable this week, all in the
fertile soil of showing up with full presence to whatever and whomever is
before me:
*Living
into the experience of the extreme frailty of a dear family member caused the non-judgmental seed of honest compassion to crack open its
husk and expose a tender green shoot. This was poignant and powerful, and I cried.
But I was not afraid to show up to the moment of truth and I easily shed the old, useless,
frayed garments of expectations, frustration, blame and self-pity that I had long worn as
protection. My heart realized that I could live unthreatened in the naked truth and that
compassion would be the savior.
*A few days ago I was temporarily stricken with some old
behaviors that used to serve, perhaps, long
ago. But they are not companions I want to keep near me now; the container of
my experience is filled these days with a gentleness and rawness of spirit that
is genuine and secure enough to exist without armor. But I do have my moments
of return to those ways, a momentary reversion to that impulse for protection
(even in the face of safety)…And what I saw the other day was a woman who
forgot gratitude and appreciation in the sight of fear. I hurt somebody because
I operated out of that old, shadowy, dank, scared place within rather than
remembering that I have learned how to lead with trust and grace: the place of Light within.
Because hurting others is not at all how I want to walk in this world, I
am practicing with new fervor a first-response to others’ gracious offerings - that of sincere gratitude.
*There is also an incredible balance out of which I have
found my inner life thriving this week. I am reminded that March marks month number seven of
my twelve-month incorporation (embodiment) of that which I claimed on my
last vision fast: to thrive in my work, my relationships, and in the fullness of my life. I
see this manifesting in kaleidoscopic ways today, this week, this month: rather than going to the extremes of emotion, or clinging fiercely to self-constructed notions
based on fallible judgment, I am able to more gently hold my life and those around me with
fullness, wholeness and joy.
Spring is here! Nature is reflecting back to each of us who
we truly are. May what is ripe and ready within you bloom in full grace and
with great beauty!
All blog photographs taken by Jennifer J. Wilhoit unless otherwise noted.
