During a hearty, wind-soaked conversation outside yesterday afternoon my dear friend shared a recent experience. I retell it here as a tiny, somewhat accurate story.
A gathering of people sat around tables. A 78-year-old
wise woman (a
friend of my friend) had been asked to present her perspective to the group. Next
to her sat a woman with an angry edge; it was obvious
that her sharpness
would erupt … and soon it did:
The
mad woman loudly and aggressively spoke out in the group.
The
older wise woman turned to this angry one.
She paused.
She looked deeply into her eyes.
She slowly nodded.
And very softly, ever-so-gently, without any
judgment in her tone or
body, she said,
“Yes. I
see.”
Sometimes people behave
like bullies. It is not acceptable behavior, nor should we lie down belly up
and just “take” it. And, we can remember that anger is a common cover-up for feelings of vulnerability, fear, perceived lack of control.
If we add aggression (a
harsh retort, for example) to the aggression others show, we are just
magnifying the very thing we find hurtful.
But if we can find the
wisdom and courage to soften, as the wise older woman did, we actually greet
the hurting person beneath the bravado of anger. The edges dissipate; the heart
of the thing actually arrives to the moment.
How can we strive to grow up beautiful, soft, durable, and flowering in love among the spiky spines of aggression - as this blossom is doing in the blackberry vines I spied yesterday while working with a client at the park?
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| ... softness among thorns ... |
All blog images created & photographed by Jennifer J. Wilhoit unless otherwise noted. Please circulate images with photo credit: "©2017 JenniferJWilhoit/TEALarbor stories. AllRightsReserved."
