95% Positive

At the small corner of the paper is a dog.earred.triangle – what lies underneath in its shadowy darkness as the story unfolds on the rest of the page?:

A tiny dead spider flattened into the fibers of the paper.

A “flaw” – small brown textured dot, tiny knothole in pristine sterile white.

A spilled drink I don’t even remember consuming.

Or perhaps the soft silk of overly-processed tree-turned-writing surface that by its nature covers and conceals a secret long since forgotten: the lifeblood that was a tree standing tall amongst other living trees, minding its own business when wind.through.boughs.silence is severed by the clamor of machines and the brutalizing anguish of a chainsaw piercingly whines its way into the flesh of the tree. The screams of the saw perhaps the only voice for the tree’s pain.

And I write upon this superbleached white surface – a bit guilty now for the purchase of a blaringly white sketchbook/journal. Why hadn’t I thought to at least get one with a more “natural” color?

I was lured by the label “recycled” that was brightly displayed on the cover. As if this could atone for Tree’s death. I was tantalized by the large 8x10 size and the great many pages that would become refuge to whoknowswhatwords from my insides – the only vehicles for these words: 1. my willingness to take the time to journal, and, 2. the pen that seems animated of its own accord despite this strange sight of my hand holding it in my three tucked fingers.

I have borne witness, listened carefully for more than nineteen hours this week, to stories and stories and stories from friends.acquaintances.clients.strangers:

feeling the difference of culture and language-

the disease that debilitates-

the treatments that stifle-

the soughtafter love-

the leavings of family-

the midlife career change-

excruciating pain-

workpressuredeadlines-

a oncesupplemind now in ruins-

the dismembered baby bird-

the night terrors-

fearoflosingthethingshelovesmost-

trees that were cut down all over the place; others damaged into unsightly shapes limbs.amputated.photosynthesizability gone; the discovery that now even these have been uprooted by backhoes: in the name of Progress and Development.

What is the relationship of shadowtolight.lighttoshadow?

The page that holds these stories is shaped from the storytellers' fierce determination to move forward. Like the dark hidden underside of the bent corner of the paper – about 5% of the page – these stories have been thickly layered with - characterized by - darkness, fear, sickness, ostracism, loss, ugliness, insanity, death, loneliness, directionlessness. Yet these holders of stories, the ones living with all that pain, are primarily living on the fullness of the page – acknowledging the dark potential - but remembering and living in the entirety and optimism of the whole page…the story writing (or righting) itself as 95% tolerable to these individuals. Feeling 95% positive in the unfolding. 

All blog images created &/or photographed by Jennifer J. Wilhoit unless otherwise noted. Please circulate images with photo credit: "©2014 JenniferJWilhoit/TEALarbor stories. AllRightsReserved."