i’m growing a tail
nails begin to curve to thicken to narrow to elongate
my skin grows patches of fur
and my teeth sharpen themselves on the bones of prey
i linger on the edge pack ahead of me and i howl my wildest voice toward orion
i am immersed in a process
the wild within is moving in spirals slowly outward the beast is transforming
i am trying to follow along
i am surrendering to becoming
do i dare go where i’m being led
i sniffed around here and there jaunted down a path found where it ended and i had to turn around tried another one poking my nose into leaves and scents
i wanted wild instead i got constrained
i wanted wild instead i got boring
i went to bed asking my dreams for guidance i woke up with two words on my mind i followed their lead
the wild beast who grows within eager to show herself but also timid is standing by watching day by day she’s not creating but she’s providing the encouragement supplying the courage to step one small paw after another to the surface
oh how brilliantly i tried to dodge and sidestep the process to control it so that nothing ugly nothing untamed could rise up and what i got was a return to something deeper a part of myself i barely know a self who needs training but who most of all needs to be given a chance to voice herself in wobbly lines and misproportions
the tamed wild-becoming
i linger all ruffled and innocent pack nowhere around and i howl my wildest voice toward the waning moon within
my teeth chew through something that almost feels nourishing
my skin tingles with the effort
my paws plod across the surface in an effort to etch out my presence here
my tail swishes and twitches
