I
was compelled to follow my own recommended practice from the blog entry on 22
Nov.
Resistance: My
first response to doing the practice was a judgment about how time-consuming
and complicated it seemed as I thought about doing it. When I’d merely written
it into the blog, it didn’t seem like I was asking so much of people. But when faced with doing it myself in the middle of a "busy" and short work/holiday week, I felt a bit stymied.
The written expression of gratitude: But
embracing a moment at the end of my journaling one day earlier this week, I
made the gratitude list. In those wee hours just after dawn, my gratitude list
was filled with all sorts of things I hadn’t been conscious of before; perhaps
it was the act of moving the pen across the page as fast as I could. I found
myself writing detailed gratitudes about attitudes and perspectives, about
geographic location, about health and circumstances and about the ability to
just be. I listed things for which
I’m grateful that include changes I’ve made in my life, behaviors that I have
shed, people I help or am helped by, specific features of the natural landscape
around me, my work, my service offerings and gifts, the behaviors of people and
animals around me, changes in my physicality. I listed items that place me in a
position of privilege, ease, and those that offer me daily challenges. Each of
the five senses were represented by items on my gratitude list, as were the
four directions and their symbolism (south – body, west – emotion/psyche, north
– mind, east – spirit). I had some overarching and general gratitudes specific
to the moment in which I was writing; I also had some very detailed gratitudes
that are general to my life and wellbeing. I am not a stranger to
gratitude-list-making. But I definitely encountered some surprises as I did the
first part of this practice.
The beautymaking of gratitude: The
next day - a bright, warm, late fall day – I decided to adorn the base of a
cherry tree in my backyard; that was as much of a “plan” as I had. I began by
creating a circle of yellowed leaves beside the tree trunk. I used only natural
items from my yard; I simply gathered things that struck my fancy and placed
them as I felt inspired. I started with a ring of yellowing leaves, fallen on
the grass. I filled in the center of the circle with a thick bed of green
leaves, also fallen. I made sure to keep intact and visible the tiny magenta
flower that was already growing in that patch of earth near the tree. I
proceeded to gather flowers and dried plants that still remain in the yard this
late in the season. I made sure NOT to pluck the last purple bloom from the
tree where I see the hummingbird go each day; he’d been there just an hour
before I began this project. I arranged the flowers and then took a photo
before nightfall came.
Gratitude, briefly - offered to the land: I
took a few moments to sum up my gratitude list into a single sentence which I quietly
whispered as I knelt beside the leafy, flowery adornment at the foot of the
tree.
The intention: I
then spoke aloud my intention for action, for expressing my gratitude in
service to others: I will do a small random act of kindness each day from now
until the holidays are over. I believe the seed
for this intention sprouted when I was at the grocery store before Thanksgiving
day and already could see and feel the growing insanity, frenzy, and obliviousness-to-others
that so many of the shoppers exhibited. By the time I was safely ensconced in
our little cottage, and the comfort of our small private backyard, I was ready
to commit to being more courteous myself…hence, the intention to commit to a
holiday season of random acts of kindness. I also decided to do these random
acts spontaneously, as I see needs emerge around me. Finally, I will keep
secret the specific acts of kindness in order to challenge my human desire to
receive kudos from others; I want my intention to remain as purely devoted to
the mission of passing on gratitude rather than becoming tainted with my frail
need for praise.
Reflections
on this process:
* That hummingbird has been back to the purple blossom (the one I did not pluck off the tree) at least once daily.
*
The morning after I made the flowery altar I went outside to see how it had
fared overnight. The tiny magenta bud around which I had crafted the gratitude
circle was wide open: a beautiful tiny pink flower with yellow center. It just
felt as if the land itself was offering beauty to the deliberate project I had
constructed. Maybe the opened flower was an endorsement of my intention to
offer daily, random acts of kindness this holiday season. Or perhaps it was
simply the warmth of a late autumn day that enticed the flower to open in a
moment during which I could ascribe a more spiritual, higher, purpose.
* I printed out the photo of the natural-items altar, creating a greeting card for the hostess of our Thanksgiving meal. That gave me the opportunity to do the final part of the gratitude practice: to share the experience on the day of giving thanks.
*
The breeze has taken a few of the golden leaves from the outer ring of my
gratitude altar. I enjoy watching how the land offers to, and alters, the altar.
It
is gratitude and a practice of giving to others that will save me from my own
self-righteousness. And for this, I am extremely grateful!
All blog images created and/or photographed by Jennifer J. Wilhoit unless otherwise noted.
